In today's society women have become more aggressive
in asking a man on a date. Why is this
happening you may ask ? Women have decided that if they kept waiting they might
never get that date. So today's woman is taking the initiative to go after what
they want.
However according to Daniel Bergner's research and
book "What do women want?: Adventures in the Science of Female
Desire", many men find it a turn off when women are the sexual aggressors.
Why must the roles of the gender be so old fashioned ? Bergner explains that a
study was done of college students and that 93 percent of women said they preferred
to be asked out, while 83 percent of men preferred to do the asking.
Bergner's research indicates that women are most
turned on by their partners' desire for them. However, socially, men still find
it a turnoff when women are the sexual aggressors. Therefore women who
aggressively pursue what they want actually leads them to not getting it.
Research shows that both men and women prefer that
the man actively pursue women and that women should be passive recipients to
these advances. They also state that both men and women prefer that the man
asks the woman out, plan the date and also pick her up. However when a woman
does not go along with this she is viewed negatively. Women who take the
initiative and ask men out are seen as too aggressive and too promiscuous , and
in some cases not interested in serious relationships. Then the questions remains
if the woman asks the man out on a date then should she pick up the tab ? From
my research the responses were varied and sometimes it is based on ones
upbringing.
Several of my own interviews show that men today do
not mind a woman asking them out but it usually depends on how she has approached
him. A few men have responded that they
are typically shy and thus do not mind. It is flattering, makes them feel
wanted and a huge boost in confidence. If this is the case then why won't these
men ask that same woman out on a date ?
Have the rules of traditional courtship changed ?
Men are not as direct as they once were
and are more intimidated. It is 2014 and the lines of courtship have
been blurred. If this is the case then should women step out of their comfort
zone and ask a man on a date ? If no one
steps up to the plate then it makes us wonder where do we go from here?......so
the debate is still open.
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